All Is Safely Gathered In
I grew up in a home where marriage was promoted. My mother and father genuinely loved each other and treated each other with love as well as with respect, dignity, and consideration. They talked about marriage with their children and they taught us that, when we married, we should expect to give of ourselves more than we expected to take. My mother hated the phrase "marriage is 50/50." She said that sometimes one spouse would receive much more than they gave, for the moment, but that spouses who loved one another always strive to give more and certainly not to keep score! She said as each spouse tried to give at least 90%, then neither would feel ill-used.
My father often quoted President David O. McKay, "No success can compensate for failure in the home" ("Lesson 22: Creating a Successful Family," The Eternal Family Teacher Manual, 2015, https://www.lds.org/manual/the-eternal-family-teacher-manual/lesson-22-creating-a-successful-family?lang=eng). Dad taught us that nothing the world has to offer could possibly be more important, nor need to take a higher priority, than the work of the family. He taught that marriage and children are the most sacred of obligations, the most important human rights, and the greatest of privileges that God has ever given mankind. In addition, we learned from Mom and Dad that happy, healthy marriages take work. Sometimes very hard work which can be difficult and painful but, the work of marriage is mostly pleasant and enjoyable when both spouses work together to find harmony.
Growing up, I only knew one couple who divorced: my Aunt Linda and her husband, my former Uncle Harry. I learned in later years that my Aunt Linda never expected to have long-term marriage with Harry. She only wanted to have a reason to leave home. What is truly tragic is that Linda and Harry had three children together before divorcing. Paul Amato, a professor of sociology at Pennsylvania State University wrote, "Because many social scientists, policymakers, and members of the general public believe that a two-parent household is the optimal setting for children's development, the decline in such households has generated widespread concern about the well-being of American children" (2005). Of course, I know that I was not as impacted as my cousins, but I still remember being very confused that Harry was no longer my uncle. How could that be?! He was still my cousins' father, but because of the divorce, Harry was no longer a part of my family. I was very sad and I have never again had the opportunity to interact with him!
As I reflect on what I can do now and in the future to "preserve" an intact family, I am reminded of the hymn "Come, Ye Thankful People" (Hymn # 94, 1985).
Come, ye thankful people, come;
Raise the song of harvest home.
All is safely gathered in
Ere the winter storms begin.
God, our Maker, doth provide
For our wants to be supplied.
Come to God's own temple, come:
Raise the song of harvest home.
People often think of harvesting the fields and putting up food storage in relation to this hymn. But it occurred to me that it could also represent what should be occurring in our familial relationships with spouse and children. I desire to "safely gather in" my family within the protective borders of the gospel of Jesus Christ. "God, our Maker" truly does provide the way and the means to do this. Marriage and family can be sealed together forever within His temples and living according to His commandments is the best protection against the destructive forces of the outside world. It is possible to be "Safely Gathered In."
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